Category: Cooking

Thanks, I didn’t know I needed that.

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imageI love to cook.  I love cookbooks.  I love old cookbooks.  I love to sit and read cookbooks.  I love history and tradition but also crave new things.  I love to experiment.  Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail.  Sometimes I fail BIG TIME.  My daughter just loves to tell about the time, years ago, that I put salt in my blackberry cobbler instead of sugar.  It wasn’t that I didn’t know better.  I really do know better.  I was not experimenting.  I don’t remember how I did it because it’s so unbelievable to me that I did it.  But I did.  And it was truly awful.  It went right down the disposal and my kids wrote it right into our family history, to be used to embarrass mom for all time.

While I am a pretty good cook, I am not that great of a baker.  Baking is a science.  You have to do things exactly as they are supposed to be done or things don’t work.  Or it might not work because of the temperature outside or the humidity.  With cooking, if you don’t image-1-1have kidney beans, you can substitute black beans.  If you think it would be good with sour cream added, go ahead!  There is still science involved in cooking but there is a little more freedom to experiment as long as you know some good solid basics.

My family is full of good cooks.  And there are others who pretty much hate to cook.  Those people also hate to eat so there is probably a connection, right?  Both my kids are pretty good cooks too.  My son and his fiancé cooked Thanksgiving at their house this past year for the first time and it was sooooo good!  I love the way each generation keeps some of their family’s traditional dishes and adds some new, interesting options.  Or they blend traditions from their original families into a new tradition of their own.  What my kids consider our traditional Thanksgiving dinner actually looks very different what I grew up with.  Over the years, my husband and I took bits and pieces from my family, from his family, and from my sister and his sister in law to create our own traditional meal.

image-3My mother in law gave me a stand mixer some years ago.  She had it for many years.  It was not high end at all but it did the job.  I had always coveted the iconic Kitchen Aid Stand Mixers.  They were beautiful, sleek, and powerful.  But I couldn’t rationalize spending that kind of money on something I would use only occasionally.  The hand me down worked just fine.  Until a few months ago when it literally fell apart in my hands.  I pulled it out to use it and I set it on the counter.  I went to lift the main part to put in the beaters and it came off the bottom, fell into 3 pieces and screws/bolts rolled to the floor.  I tried to put it back together but eventually carried it to my outside trash can and dropped it in without ceremony.  I pulled out my little $10 hand mixer and finished whatever I was preparing.

Over the next several months, I used my hand mixer a good bit.  There were times when it was completely adequate and others when it was a bit frustrating.  I actually used it more than I thought.  I looked at stand mixers on line.  I considered buying a low end stand mixer but I have come to believe that, at this point in my life, if I can afford it, why shouldn’t I buy what I really want.  I couldn’t afford it right away but I decided I was going to save up for a Kitchen Aid mixer.

I randomly had that conversation with my son and his fiancé.  And at Christmas theyimage-1 gave me a card and a touching and tearful conversation about why they wanted to give me something I really wanted – a Kitchen Aid mixer.   So they did.  It now sits on my counter.  It’s beautiful.  And sleek.  And powerful.  I didn’t know I would love it.  But I do.

Life really is not about stuff and stuff doesn’t make you happy.  I know this.  But I really am happy with my life.  I am not a person who must have the best, the newest, the name brand.  I don’t buy a lot of things for myself that cost a lot of money.  I splurge every 3-4 years on a really good camera or lens because photography is one of my passions.  I splurged on my home because it was my dream and I worked hard to get it.  When something makes my life better or enhances my ability to enjoy my family and my life, I will get it.  My cameras and lenses allow me to pursue my hobby of capturing the lives of my family for current and future generations.  My home allows me to have all of my family and friends here with me, all in one place which has been a dream of mine for some time.  And this mixer, it’s just a small part of doing something I love – cooking – and enjoying the process.

Thanks Zack and Chris.

 

 

When I grow up I want to be just like . . .

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. . . Me!  These are some of the women I admire – Stevie Nicks, Carrie Fisher, Edna Lewis, and Iris Apfel.  Some I have admired a long time and some are new to me.   Some have had struggles in life and overcome them, growing into themselves as they aged.  Others always knew who they were, learning more and growing as they aged and lived their lives authentically.  I would not say they didn’t care what others thought about them.  But I would say they knew who they were and succeeded in spite of others who tried to change them.

I have been thinking about them a lot lately.  I think we all hit a point in our 40’s or 50’s that we reflect on who we are.  Did I become the person I thought I would be?  Do I like who I have become?  What is next for me?  Because if you feel you need to change some things in your life, now might be the time to decide what your next move might be since you are coming to the end of your second 1/3 portion of your life.  You know, the first 30 years, the second 30 years, etc.  We have time to live our authentic life but  I think it takes a little experimentation to see where your comfort level really truly lies.

m_stevie-nicks-70sTake for example, Stevie Nicks – a member of the band Fleetwood Mac, songwriter, singer, fashion icon, bohemian goddess, free spirit.

I first saw Fleetwood Mac in concert in 1977 in the Washington DC area.  Stevie fascinated me.  Forget that her name was Stevie, so cool.  As she floated around the stage in her black top hat and flowing sleeves and layers of lace and skirts, twirling, lost in the music, I wanted to be her.  Stevie Nicks is my spirit animal.  To this day, inside, I am Stevie Nicks in 1977.

But, truth is, I’m nothing like her.  I would say my true fashion style is more bohemian than anything, and there are touches of that, but I have always worked in a professional environment and I am a plus size woman.  So I have spent a lot of time buying more traditional clothing and whatever was available in plus sizes within my budget.  And while I’m not afraid to experiment, I’m lazy.  Yoga pants or jeans are fine with me and now that I work from home, I own a lot of t-shirts and sweaters because, why not?  I think if you ask anyone that knows me what my style would be, they would not be able to tell you.

So where is my comfort level with this?  I don’t know.  I need to figure that out as a part of this ongoing reflection.  So do I stop being practical and buy only clothing I love?  Cause I would love to rock a black top hat every day but I’m not going to do it.  I actually almost ordered one on Amazon a few months ago and then thought better of it.  So am I authentically practical and lazy or should I try to live authentically the way I am in my head, like Stevie?   I’ll get back to you on that.

m_iris-apfelSpeaking of fashion, Iris Apfel is fascinating.  Google her.  Or watch the documentary about her on Netflix.  Iris is in her 90’s and still going strong.  She is a former interior designer and a fashion and accessories icon in NYC.    I love that she wears things she collects.  And she collects beautiful things.  Now, they are never things I would buy but in her hands, they are beautiful.  She is fearless.

Her apartment looks the same way she dresses.  It is a collection of things she loves, picked up on her travels throughout the world and on local shopping trips.  She has a life-size wooden ostrich that holds liquor in an area under one of the wings.  On top of the ostrich sits Kermit the Frog.  Just fun.  And so many memories for her.

I want to be fearless like Iris.  In my own way.  To travel.  To collect things I love.  To live life surrounded by art and inspiration until the very end of my life.

m_carrie-fisher-los-angeles-home-1Carrie Fisher was always someone who intrigued me.  The daughter of Hollywood royalty, she had a troubled early life.  She dealt with drugs and mental health issues but managed to find a way to inspire others through her strong female characters, the way she wrote about her life, and her “I don’t give a shit” attitude.  Carrie did what she wanted, she said what she wanted, and her honesty was provocative yet humbling.

I recently saw the documentary on Carrie and Debbie Reynolds called “Bright Lights” and it made me love her even more.  I delighted in the relationship between Carrie and Debbie that had developed over the years in spite of their differences.  Carrie’s style in her home – collections of things she loved, things that were given to her, things that made her laugh – just clicked with me.  Nothing really went together but it all did.  She was who she was.  And didn’t try to be anyone else.  And she was great!

m_edna-lewisMy newest fascination is Edna Lewis.  You may never have heard of Edna Lewis unless you are a Foodie, and even then, maybe not.  But you owe it to yourself to learn about this talented woman.

Edna was born in Virginia, moved as a young woman to NYC where she worked as a seamstress, a cook, and eventually became a chef, known for her Southern cooking.  I think Edna’s cookbook, A Taste of Country Cooking, pretty much defines her with the focus on seasonal menus, simple preparation and flavors, and the “feeling” of those who cook in the South with stories from the time she was growing up.  I come from a long line of Southern cooks and I know those feelings – the tradition of the family and friends gathering around your table, the smell of honeysuckle and apple trees, brushing the earth off  your vegetables that just came out of the garden, picking plump blackberries off the bushes on the side of the road.  It’s been a really long time since I have done some of those things but I remember.  It was a simpler time.   Simple, fresh food tasted good and her cookbook reminded me of that.

And she did it at a time when chefs were white men, mostly focused on French cooking.  She wore her colorful, African inspired garments and she cooked simple, fresh, the way she had learned growing up.  She did it her way.

These women are very different but they all have one thing in common.  They did things their way.  They lived authentically.  That’s inspirational.  I think a lot of people, very often women, spend a lot of years trying to be someone that others think they should be.  That’s normal but you eventually break free.  At some point, whether it’s at age 45 when your kids are grown, or 50 when you have a grandchild, or turning 56 when you realize you are on the downhill side of that second 1/3 portion of your life, you learn to not care so much and you become YOU.  How liberating is that?

 

 

Moving On

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I’m moving on to the next thing.  I am going to try to write more.  I have missed it.  I have tried a couple of times.  I have thought a lot about it.  I had some circumstances in my life that made me hesitant.  I won’t go into those but I will tell you that writing is the way I work through things.  But I felt like I couldn’t do that.  However, I have decided that I need to move on and move forward, doing what I love again, to just be me.

I have so much to be thankful for and so much good has happened in the 6 months since I have written anything on this blog.  I am in such a great place and grateful every day.  So I want to share a few things.  Allow me to brag a little.

Wedding Bells!!!  Both my kids are engaged to amazing people.  I love both of my future sons-in-law.  They have both become a crucial part of our family and hold a special place in my heart.  Both couples are deep into wedding planning and I plan to write more about that as we move toward the dates.  They have very unique and different styles so I am excited to watch all of this as it unfolds.

This spring, I had the opportunity to visit family and spend time with some of my siblings.  My younger brother – tall guy on the right – lives in Eastern Washington.  While traveling for work, I was able to stay over a weekend with him.  He has 6 kids and 5 grandchildren.  Only 4 of his kids are pictured here but I did get to see 1 of his older two sons on the trip.  It’s weird to say that I don’t really know his kids, but I don’t because we’ve always lived across the country from each other, only seeing each other every few years.  I had never met his youngest two but now I have.  He is an amazing dad and I love his kids.  They have interesting and diverse personalities and are all pretty independent and funny.  Just like my brother.

On the left is a picture of my sister and me from this spring. This was an impromptu visit as we took a trip down memory lane with her family and our nephew who was visiting from California.  Behind us you can see the buildings on my grandparent’s farm in Hopkinsville, Kentucky.  My grandfather build the little white house on the right, just over my head.  It’s where my mom grew up.  It was my home off and on when I was very, very young and was always my favorite place to visit growing up as we travelled from one duty station to the next.  We all have that place where we feel comforted, cared for and loved.  This was my place.  Memories of iron skillets, barns, quilts, biscuits, crickets, hay, pigs, electric fences, cows, the corncrib, the dinner bell, chickens and eggs, church on Sunday, strawberries, tractors, tobacco, fireflies, swinging electric fans, fried chicken, coke floats, breezes through the window, creaking rocking chairs.  My cousin lives in the little white house now.  So many memories and lessons learned on that farm.

Trying new things is fun, whether it’s a new recipe or a new dish.  I just love to cook.  I love Southern comfort foods but I also like to venture out and learn new ways of doing things.  On the left, my creation that was inspired by watching one too many cooking shows.  It’s pappardelle pasta with pancetta, shallots, white wine, cream, romano cheese, basil, and a bit of truffle oil.  Yummy.  Just yummy.  I hope to start sharing some recipes soon – some family favorites as well as some new ones I might run across.

On the right – it looks like creme brûlée but is is sooooooo NOT creme brûlée!  This is whiskey boudino and you must be 21 or older to order it.  They had me at whiskey.  You can have this at Bamboo Sushi, in Portland, Oregon and there are no regrets.  They have a truffled avocado nigiri that is melt in your mouth and many other interesting rolls and dishes, but this dessert . . . just wow!  It is a whiskey pudding with sea salt caramel on top.  If you are ever there, order it and don’t even hesitate!

My nephew Trent Taylor, a senior, plays college football at Louisiana Tech.  He’s kind of a big deal.  Now, I know I may be just a2016-09-24-18-36-13 little biased.  Okay, I am a LOT biased.  But the NCAA does some national rankings on player stats and they are not biased at all.  As of today, Trent is #1 in the country (yes, all of college football!) in receiving yards, #2 in receiving yards per game, #2 in receptions per game, and tied for 6th in receiving touchdowns.  He and his teammate Carlos Henderson at the top receiving pair in the country.  Trent is also on the Biletnikoff Award Watch List for the Top Receiver in College Football.  If you can watch a Louisiana Tech Bulldogs game on TV – he is #5 and is a slot receiver.

Yes, I am quite the proud aunt.  And Trent is just so much fun to watch because of how he plays the game.  But I am most proud of the  way this young man leads on the field.  He works so hard – he has to work twice as hard because he is only 5’8″ and weighs like 170 pounds.  He is little for a football player so he has to work very hard to stay ahead of those that are more genetically gifted.  To hear his coaches and others talk about how he “shows up” and gives 150% at every practice and gives his all on every play, it makes my heart swell.  A few games ago, he was tackled and his helmet came off.  When that happens they are required to leave the field to be checked out.  You could tell he didn’t want to go off but knew he had to do so.  He started getting the crowd riled up, moving his arms up and down, jumping around, getting them to cheer.  He is such a leader and what you hope every athlete will grow up to be.

My grandson continues to be my best little buddy and the light of my life.  When I am in town, I pick him up from preschool most every day and keep him until his mom picks him up. We run errands, cook dinner, play outside, or just hang out in the living room like zombies on a phone or iPad.  We talk about important stuff, we build with legos, we throw the football around outside.  It’s so much easier to be a grandparent than it was to be a parent.  Your have more patience, things just don’t bother you, and who cares if the laundry needs to be done, right?

I try to document things he says and does but I wanted to be able to write more about his quirky and fun personality.  Right now he’s into telling jokes.  Four year olds are funny when they tell jokes.  For the first 5 minutes.  Beyond that, not so much.  So be prepared, I’m going to bore you with cute grandson stories.  It’s for me and him, not you. <smile>  Indulge me.

I have so many things for which I am grateful.  2016-07-07-12-00-07I am happy.  My life is good.  And I will begin to write about that again.  Starting today.

My Big Adventure

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I am building a house.  I have never done that before.  I have learned a lot.  And I cannot wait to be in that house which should happen in mid-December.

The process started in April.  I was going to sell my house and move to a newer house. I had lived in that house since 1997.  It was our first time buying a house .  Although both my kids were born in Alabama before we moved to Tennessee, we had only rented before moving into this house.  My kids basically grew up there.  My husband died there.  My grandson came home to that house and they lived there with me for 2 1/2 years.  Lots of memories.  But not a lot of outlets.  It needed new . . . everything.  And I needed a change.

My realtor sent me many home listings to look at.  He is a friend and he knows me well so he knew what I was looking for.  I didn’t want to live right up next to people with no spaces between homes.  I wanted something newer, not necessarily bigger.  My home was 2000 square feet and I was the only one living there so the size was fine.  I loved my sunroom that I had built on and I spent a lot of time in that room and little time elsewhere in the house.  I just needed the new space to be more useable space with a little room for entertaining.  My house was a tri-level, built in 1978 so the space tended to be chopped up and closed in.  I needed more counter space and storage space.  And I needed more outlets.

He sent me several new builds which I had previously not even considered because I didn’t think I could afford them.  As I looked at them . . . ding, ding, ding!  I COULD afford them.  Why would I keep looking at someone else’s home when I could build one I wanted with EXACTLY what I wanted?  I decided I needed a master on the main and a large kitchen.  My knees didn’t really want to do stairs and I am, after all, a Nana and only getting older.   He took me to look at some models. I really WAS trying to be practical.  Really.  And then I fell in love with a house.  Well, really I fell in love with a kitchen.

The Wakefield kitchen is part of a large open space across the entire back of the house.  The kitchen had tons of cabinets, tons of counter space, a huge pantry, a large bar and lots of light.  It was open to the eating area and family room with fireplace.  The cabinets were white, the granite was light in color and there was a light blue subway tile backsplash.  It was beautiful and exactly my style.  It was MY kitchen.  I wanted it.

I didn’t care that the house was 3500 square feet, much too large for just me.  I was so excited that my family could come and visit and would have space to stay.  I didn’t care that there was virtually no yard and the homes were 10 feet apart.  I didn’t care that the stairs were steep and straight up to the second floor.  I didn’t care that the master was upstairs because the master/master bath/laundry room were all amazing too.  I wanted it.  And I could afford it.  That is, IF I got the right price for my existing home.

Everything went smoothly into motion.  I proceeded with faith that this was going to happen.  I put my house on the market in late May and it sold for what I wanted and in less than 3 weeks.  OH, there bumps along the way, including a raccoon having babies in the walls under my master bath.  That’s another story for another day.  But it sold and I moved into a 1 bedroom apartment to wait patiently for my kitchen, I mean my house, to be built.

While I waited, I began to wonder if this was the right thing for me or if I was being selfish.  This house is too big for just me, what if I lost my job, what about the upkeep, am I being crazy?  But here’s the thing . . . I am 54 years old.  I always dreamed of having a house like this.  If not now, when?

I have worked hard and supported myself and my family.  I have done it alone since 2001.  I don’t want to say I “deserve” it.  No one “deserves” anything, good or bad.  I believe if you make your life choices based on the right reasons and think them through, you will make choices that enhance your life as well as others.  Sometimes it’s what you desire and sometimes it’s a learning experience.  But you always grow.  And sometimes you gotta take a chance.

I’m taking my chance.