Month: January 2017

Thanks, I didn’t know I needed that.

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imageI love to cook.  I love cookbooks.  I love old cookbooks.  I love to sit and read cookbooks.  I love history and tradition but also crave new things.  I love to experiment.  Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail.  Sometimes I fail BIG TIME.  My daughter just loves to tell about the time, years ago, that I put salt in my blackberry cobbler instead of sugar.  It wasn’t that I didn’t know better.  I really do know better.  I was not experimenting.  I don’t remember how I did it because it’s so unbelievable to me that I did it.  But I did.  And it was truly awful.  It went right down the disposal and my kids wrote it right into our family history, to be used to embarrass mom for all time.

While I am a pretty good cook, I am not that great of a baker.  Baking is a science.  You have to do things exactly as they are supposed to be done or things don’t work.  Or it might not work because of the temperature outside or the humidity.  With cooking, if you don’t image-1-1have kidney beans, you can substitute black beans.  If you think it would be good with sour cream added, go ahead!  There is still science involved in cooking but there is a little more freedom to experiment as long as you know some good solid basics.

My family is full of good cooks.  And there are others who pretty much hate to cook.  Those people also hate to eat so there is probably a connection, right?  Both my kids are pretty good cooks too.  My son and his fiancé cooked Thanksgiving at their house this past year for the first time and it was sooooo good!  I love the way each generation keeps some of their family’s traditional dishes and adds some new, interesting options.  Or they blend traditions from their original families into a new tradition of their own.  What my kids consider our traditional Thanksgiving dinner actually looks very different what I grew up with.  Over the years, my husband and I took bits and pieces from my family, from his family, and from my sister and his sister in law to create our own traditional meal.

image-3My mother in law gave me a stand mixer some years ago.  She had it for many years.  It was not high end at all but it did the job.  I had always coveted the iconic Kitchen Aid Stand Mixers.  They were beautiful, sleek, and powerful.  But I couldn’t rationalize spending that kind of money on something I would use only occasionally.  The hand me down worked just fine.  Until a few months ago when it literally fell apart in my hands.  I pulled it out to use it and I set it on the counter.  I went to lift the main part to put in the beaters and it came off the bottom, fell into 3 pieces and screws/bolts rolled to the floor.  I tried to put it back together but eventually carried it to my outside trash can and dropped it in without ceremony.  I pulled out my little $10 hand mixer and finished whatever I was preparing.

Over the next several months, I used my hand mixer a good bit.  There were times when it was completely adequate and others when it was a bit frustrating.  I actually used it more than I thought.  I looked at stand mixers on line.  I considered buying a low end stand mixer but I have come to believe that, at this point in my life, if I can afford it, why shouldn’t I buy what I really want.  I couldn’t afford it right away but I decided I was going to save up for a Kitchen Aid mixer.

I randomly had that conversation with my son and his fiancé.  And at Christmas theyimage-1 gave me a card and a touching and tearful conversation about why they wanted to give me something I really wanted – a Kitchen Aid mixer.   So they did.  It now sits on my counter.  It’s beautiful.  And sleek.  And powerful.  I didn’t know I would love it.  But I do.

Life really is not about stuff and stuff doesn’t make you happy.  I know this.  But I really am happy with my life.  I am not a person who must have the best, the newest, the name brand.  I don’t buy a lot of things for myself that cost a lot of money.  I splurge every 3-4 years on a really good camera or lens because photography is one of my passions.  I splurged on my home because it was my dream and I worked hard to get it.  When something makes my life better or enhances my ability to enjoy my family and my life, I will get it.  My cameras and lenses allow me to pursue my hobby of capturing the lives of my family for current and future generations.  My home allows me to have all of my family and friends here with me, all in one place which has been a dream of mine for some time.  And this mixer, it’s just a small part of doing something I love – cooking – and enjoying the process.

Thanks Zack and Chris.

 

 

When I grow up I want to be just like . . .

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. . . Me!  These are some of the women I admire – Stevie Nicks, Carrie Fisher, Edna Lewis, and Iris Apfel.  Some I have admired a long time and some are new to me.   Some have had struggles in life and overcome them, growing into themselves as they aged.  Others always knew who they were, learning more and growing as they aged and lived their lives authentically.  I would not say they didn’t care what others thought about them.  But I would say they knew who they were and succeeded in spite of others who tried to change them.

I have been thinking about them a lot lately.  I think we all hit a point in our 40’s or 50’s that we reflect on who we are.  Did I become the person I thought I would be?  Do I like who I have become?  What is next for me?  Because if you feel you need to change some things in your life, now might be the time to decide what your next move might be since you are coming to the end of your second 1/3 portion of your life.  You know, the first 30 years, the second 30 years, etc.  We have time to live our authentic life but  I think it takes a little experimentation to see where your comfort level really truly lies.

m_stevie-nicks-70sTake for example, Stevie Nicks – a member of the band Fleetwood Mac, songwriter, singer, fashion icon, bohemian goddess, free spirit.

I first saw Fleetwood Mac in concert in 1977 in the Washington DC area.  Stevie fascinated me.  Forget that her name was Stevie, so cool.  As she floated around the stage in her black top hat and flowing sleeves and layers of lace and skirts, twirling, lost in the music, I wanted to be her.  Stevie Nicks is my spirit animal.  To this day, inside, I am Stevie Nicks in 1977.

But, truth is, I’m nothing like her.  I would say my true fashion style is more bohemian than anything, and there are touches of that, but I have always worked in a professional environment and I am a plus size woman.  So I have spent a lot of time buying more traditional clothing and whatever was available in plus sizes within my budget.  And while I’m not afraid to experiment, I’m lazy.  Yoga pants or jeans are fine with me and now that I work from home, I own a lot of t-shirts and sweaters because, why not?  I think if you ask anyone that knows me what my style would be, they would not be able to tell you.

So where is my comfort level with this?  I don’t know.  I need to figure that out as a part of this ongoing reflection.  So do I stop being practical and buy only clothing I love?  Cause I would love to rock a black top hat every day but I’m not going to do it.  I actually almost ordered one on Amazon a few months ago and then thought better of it.  So am I authentically practical and lazy or should I try to live authentically the way I am in my head, like Stevie?   I’ll get back to you on that.

m_iris-apfelSpeaking of fashion, Iris Apfel is fascinating.  Google her.  Or watch the documentary about her on Netflix.  Iris is in her 90’s and still going strong.  She is a former interior designer and a fashion and accessories icon in NYC.    I love that she wears things she collects.  And she collects beautiful things.  Now, they are never things I would buy but in her hands, they are beautiful.  She is fearless.

Her apartment looks the same way she dresses.  It is a collection of things she loves, picked up on her travels throughout the world and on local shopping trips.  She has a life-size wooden ostrich that holds liquor in an area under one of the wings.  On top of the ostrich sits Kermit the Frog.  Just fun.  And so many memories for her.

I want to be fearless like Iris.  In my own way.  To travel.  To collect things I love.  To live life surrounded by art and inspiration until the very end of my life.

m_carrie-fisher-los-angeles-home-1Carrie Fisher was always someone who intrigued me.  The daughter of Hollywood royalty, she had a troubled early life.  She dealt with drugs and mental health issues but managed to find a way to inspire others through her strong female characters, the way she wrote about her life, and her “I don’t give a shit” attitude.  Carrie did what she wanted, she said what she wanted, and her honesty was provocative yet humbling.

I recently saw the documentary on Carrie and Debbie Reynolds called “Bright Lights” and it made me love her even more.  I delighted in the relationship between Carrie and Debbie that had developed over the years in spite of their differences.  Carrie’s style in her home – collections of things she loved, things that were given to her, things that made her laugh – just clicked with me.  Nothing really went together but it all did.  She was who she was.  And didn’t try to be anyone else.  And she was great!

m_edna-lewisMy newest fascination is Edna Lewis.  You may never have heard of Edna Lewis unless you are a Foodie, and even then, maybe not.  But you owe it to yourself to learn about this talented woman.

Edna was born in Virginia, moved as a young woman to NYC where she worked as a seamstress, a cook, and eventually became a chef, known for her Southern cooking.  I think Edna’s cookbook, A Taste of Country Cooking, pretty much defines her with the focus on seasonal menus, simple preparation and flavors, and the “feeling” of those who cook in the South with stories from the time she was growing up.  I come from a long line of Southern cooks and I know those feelings – the tradition of the family and friends gathering around your table, the smell of honeysuckle and apple trees, brushing the earth off  your vegetables that just came out of the garden, picking plump blackberries off the bushes on the side of the road.  It’s been a really long time since I have done some of those things but I remember.  It was a simpler time.   Simple, fresh food tasted good and her cookbook reminded me of that.

And she did it at a time when chefs were white men, mostly focused on French cooking.  She wore her colorful, African inspired garments and she cooked simple, fresh, the way she had learned growing up.  She did it her way.

These women are very different but they all have one thing in common.  They did things their way.  They lived authentically.  That’s inspirational.  I think a lot of people, very often women, spend a lot of years trying to be someone that others think they should be.  That’s normal but you eventually break free.  At some point, whether it’s at age 45 when your kids are grown, or 50 when you have a grandchild, or turning 56 when you realize you are on the downhill side of that second 1/3 portion of your life, you learn to not care so much and you become YOU.  How liberating is that?